Two Wolves

I love this story - no-one seems to know where it originated from; only that its been around for a long time and is part of the Cherokee folk lore

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. 

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. 

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

                                                                             —Author unknown

Love Jen

No Blog Time?

Life happens. Plans go awry, emergencies arise and a day can get lost in the sea of time.


My past two weeks have been on hold. Week 1, my son was rushed to hospital with appendicitis. 48 hours after his appendectomy he was sent home. It should have been after 24 hours but they decided to keep him in one more day. He and his girlfriend + their dog came to stay with me for the week. I have a cat so there is a lot of work involved in keeping the dog and cat separate. 


After they left, I decided to catch up on all those things we SHOULD have done but fate had other plans for us all. My son was rushed back to hospital this week with a kidney stone. He was in such pain he had morphine. Bless him he did not complain as much as I would have...but I could see my boy was in bad pain.


He and Girlfriend once again came here...and the dog...so chaos reigns and the internet has been neglected.

Love Jen

Story Time

So I joined a creative writing group. Its fun and allows contact with other writers. Writing is a lonely occupation. One only has one's characters to talk to ha ha!

So we are working out how to proceed. One thing we will be doing is to be given a plot and then write for 15 minutes and read out a short story. Can you imagine all the crossing out and the mess of it without edits and time to play with it?

Anyway, at the last meeting we were given this criteria as homework:

Creative writing group:

Male name: Peter    

Female name: Mary

Place: Hastings

Setting: Café

Time of year: Winter
Time of day: 3PM

Weather: Raining:          

Words: 300

I took a shot at it and here it is...so hard to fit all that into 300 words:

The First Meeting

    Peter felt nervous about today. Everything was about to change and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. What if, he thought, I’m a disappointment? Or, what if I’m the one left feeling disappointed? After all, he’d only seen a very old picture of Mary and apart from the letters; he had no idea what she was really like.

    He was glad he’d purchased that Sat Nav. He didn’t like driving at the best of times, let alone all the way to Hastings. His hands shook a little as he set out on the journey. At one point he thought about cancelling the whole thing. But once on the motorway his concentration went into driving and his anxiety settled.

   He arrived in Hasting around 2.30pm. He and Mary had arranged to meet at 3pm in the Café des Arts. Mary had picked the location. She had mentioned in her letters that she’s an artist and that she frequents this quaint, little, bohemian café regularly. She thought she would feel less nervous if they met somewhere familiar to her.

   After parking the car, Peter decided to walk for a while before the meeting. He was getting on a bit and his legs stiffened up after long drives. He was nervously looking around the tables in the Café, when from behind, someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was her, it was Mary. Instinctively they hugged, both of them crying unashamedly, there in front of everyone. Ever since that first letter from Mary he’d worried but now Peter knew it would be okay. Here, in Hastings, on a grey, rainy day, the daughter he’d never met was in his arms. 

279


Jen S copyrights 2010

Do you find the world confusing at times?

Things are constantly changing and moving. Sometimes I am not sure where I begin or end. Life is always a puzzle, the next moment a mystery. Nothing is certain for any of us. Some of us are able to live in the moment. I feel like a star sometimes, one that still twinkles even though it imploded long ago. Other times I am filled with hope of something...at those times I feel as though my life is breathing again. I have wings once more and can fly. 

I am not sure what my next step in life is or should be. Where am I going and what choices, if any lay ahead.

Time for me to write some stories. I have a few on the go.

The Dream

The Road to Self

Its taken a lot of pain and heart searching to understand that life will not come and rescue me.


Intellectually, I have understood the concept that life is what you make of it. But...on an experiential level I have not really grasped that idea. I have put all my hopes and dreams out there, hoping that hope itself would bring contentment to me.


I now know that what I seek is more spiritual (not religious). My quest is to connect more with nature, life, and with myself. I have been far too busy looking outside. Time for me to turn inwards.


"Physis (or Phusis) is an ancient Greek word very rich in meaning. It is used to refer to life energy as it manifests in nature, in growth and healing as well as in all dimensions of creativity. Physician or physic (as in medicine) and Physics (as in Quantum and Chaos understandings of the world) are both derived from it.

It is used as a concept to concentrate some of the most significant qualities and aspirations of Prof. Clarkson’s work - in honour of everlasting change, unlearning as well as learning, living as well as dying well, bodysoul, the cycle as potent paradigm for human evolutionary processes, the individual and society, relationship and archetype, the importance of nature as teacher and inspiration, the drive towards complexity, quality and wholeness, the co-existence of contradictions. Whether in individuals, children, couples, groups, organisations or artistic work, the central and organising theme is simply to have life and to have it more abundantly.

In contemporary terms we experience ourselves as a global virtual community of enquiry and physis is another name for the complexity concept of auto-poiesis".

“Autopoiesis sees self-generated, self-constituting domains of activity and discourse, (explanatory domains) that are autonomous and incommensurable, each constructing its own self-referential differences and distinctions”.

I have taken this from "In Memory of Physis'" which is actually in memory of Prof Petruska Clarkson whom I had the pleasure of meeting and discussing "bystander" subjects as well as being invited to her colourful and wonderful home.

Love Jen

Short Stories

I love to write short stories. Had a few published in anthologies and won a couple of money prizes. For about 3 years now, I have just closed down and not bothered. Writers block brought about by stress.

Lately though Iv been thinking I might start writing again. I hope to find some other writers blogs to follow and be in touch with. So if any writers pass by, follow me so I can catch up with you.

Id love to set a challenge, or be part of one set by someone else. Challenge makes good practice. So if your passing through - drop a short story of no more that 100 words onto my blog via this entry.

Love Jen

None of it Matters in the or at the End

The reheadriter asked

I was thinking about your post yesterday and the quote "yet none of this matters at the end"
How can we really get that message to soak in? I guess the answer is that we just keep on trying to get it right. Thanks again for your post.

I wanted to come up with a breath taking answer but, I have to admit I don’t know. Perhaps constant mantra’s or affirmations until the mind has been brainwashed into living in and enjoying the moment. Many swear that to get to that mindset, one can use meditation. I am just beginning that journey which is not at all easy.

I want and hope to find some peace with who I am, where I have been and where I am going. I need to be aware of, but not afraid by the fact that I will indeed end and the moment is all I have. I want to be able to hold each moment as precious and live in it without pressure from the next moment. I want to smile more and be happy to have the moment and not be afraid of losing it. For me, its all about fear of losing precious moments and in the process, ironically spoiling them.

Love Jen

Procrastination

If there were awards for procrastination, I'm so good, I'd definitely have a few.


What have I done today:


Got up (obviously)
Made myself a cup of tea
Went to face book
Checked out a you tube lesson on mindfulness
Did the meditation
Checked out some blogs




Its almost 2PM and I am not even showered. Must get motivated ... but you know the mindfulness thing really was worth the time. It's about making time, about being at peace with oneself and the world, about paying attention to ones needs. Mindfulness helps us know what we really feel, what we want. To be authentic and congruent with ourselves in relation to the world. To lessen  our stress and bring good things into our lives. To manage pain and illness. It can do all of this.


Check out this Youtube and these books:


Mindfulness

Books and CD's

Love Jen

The Ageing Process

"Never count your age in years but rather experiences. Age by passing of the years is extremely finite, but a life enriched by experience feels like immortality." Rutheford Rane, MD




So another day and here we are my friends

This is my wish for you: 

Comfort on difficult days, 

Smiles when sadness intrudes, 

Rainbows to follow the clouds, 

Laughter to kiss your lips, 

Sunsets to warm your heart, 

Hugs when spirits sag, 

Beauty for your eyes to see, 

Friendships to brighten your being, 

Faith so that you can believe, 

Confidence for when you doubt, 

Courage to know yourself, 

Patience to accept the truth, 

Love to complete your life.”

by Lynnie Buttercup

Love Jen

Smile

A few days ago, someone commented that I rarely smile any more. By adding the words "any more" the person implied...no not implied, stated that I used to smile a lot more. I was thinking but I do smile, I do honest. I felt an urge to defend (what seemed like) the accusation. But I paused and I took a breath and thought on what had been said. I came back with YES I smile less. This led to my realization that I also laugh less, in fact its rare for me to laugh.

I was once always laughing and I loved life. Now, these days one day slips into another and nothing much happens in it apart from stress. My thoughts are dominated by worry, mostly about about what needs to be done. It's not surprising that the house renovations that should have taken a year are now into year 4 and it looks like it will be at least another year. Then, we will sell up and down size. This means I never actually got to enjoy the place as a home. What's to laugh about?

Of course there is more to the story. I don't intend to publish personal information, but the fact is, I need to remodel my whole life if I am to find laughter again.


Thank you Redhead Writer for your beautiful poem review "When You Are Old". It helped a lot, even though it brought tears to my eyes. Read it if you get the time here


Someone has offered to introduce me to and teach me to meditate. I am excited and believe if I am to find a way forward, I will find it inside me. First I need to find how to get inside me...I hope meditation will be my guide.

I must ensure I take up the offer and make time to do the work:

"An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied."

Arnold Glasow

As a newish blogger who intended this blog to be about Time and space, about how things work and about the unusual...I am not getting very far but, there is always Time to cover everything...isn't there?

Thanks once again to the Redheadwriter and the beautiful Yeats poem and for now I leave you with this:

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. 

Jacques Prévert

and

If you want to be happy, be.  

Leo Tolstoy

Love from Jen

 

Back to that old subject: Life

A friend of a friend died last week. She was only in her early 50's. It all seemed so fast. It should make us question our lives, realize how quickly a life can be torn away, make us live life to the full...we should be following that popular little saying buzzing around: Live, Love, Laugh. But do we...nope we don't.

It's hard to break free of the chains that bind us, hard to switch our more or less automatic response to life and its issues. I want to think who cares about the ironing or the chores can wait but that goes against my whole upbringing. The idea that I am unable to do that makes me feel bitter and angry. Why was I and why are we taught to worry about the small stuff?


Perhaps my friends, friend would have given anything to live, perhaps she would never iron again, or clean up, or watch what she says or wears. We live, we die and in between we worry about our weight, our looks, money and status and yet none of this matters at the end. It cant come with us, and its meaningless without us.

I shall make a good effort to change some things and not let this oppotunity to review what is important slip by.

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger

The mind is everything, what you think you become

Three things can not be long hidden; the sun the moon and the truth

~Buddah~

Friendships:


I searched all my life for a true friend
One whose soul fits so well with my own
I neglected to sew the seeds of giv­ing
So no true, last­ing friend­ships were grown

by me

People

When I say "people" I do mean me too.

A friend told me that her theory is that people are a virus upon the earth. I wont go on...I expect you can guess why she believes this.

Personally, I have several theories as to why we are here. I switch around although some of my theories could probably be squeezed into one big idea, but as yet I am unable to marry them up.

The best exposition I have read in relation to time is Julian Barbour's - "The End of Time". This is a must read for anyone searching for an answer that combines science/physics and divinity. Unlike other scientific books about time, the big bang etc, Julian Barbour's book does not dismiss a soul, or a consciousness that may go beyond the physical.

He suggests (I think) that we are in fact a conciousness moving through tiny moments of time. His idea is that time is made up of moments. To imagine these, we could think of a reel of movie film. Each frame has captured a moment of time. If you run the film, everything appears to be moving. So, the short version of what Julian proposes is that we are conciousness, moving through a series of still moments.

Anyone whoever saw or read Stephen King's: "The Langoliers" will have some concept of this idea, although Julian B does not suggest that langoliers eat past moments as with the film.

Julian B seems to be saying that we are moving across/through some kind of time line, or at least our conciousness is. I am unsure if between the lines he suggests a collective conciousness, however that idea could fit very well too. He does not appear to dismiss a divine intervention, or a maker of sorts either, which is unusual for a scientist.

I certainly felt that what the book told me, I already knew on some level. It hit and moved something deep inside. It was a nice feeling.

Time

A Time of Life

What is time?

If the world took 3 years to revolve around the sun, would we age more slowly? If so, that makes me around 30 years old....if only!

I guess what I am asking is - is age and therefore time born from perception and imagination? Are we a mirage in the vast blackness of space? Are we so bound by the law of time, that we simply must age?

We just accept that time moves and that we move with it even though we know that in the vastness of space there is no actual fixed time. Our time is observed by movement - that is, by the earth rotating, creating night and day and rotating around the sun creating seasons. We call this rotation 1 revolution or, 1 year (365.26 days).

This year splits into four sections:June solstice, September equinox, December solstice and March equinox. Without science, animals and humans seem to know when each season arrives using nature and it's signals. (Not including global warming and the distortion of the signals ergo)

This is how we count time - by the movement of our planet, and in relation to the Sun.

So I ask again - what is time?